It’s My Half Birthday

I’ve declared June 18th my half birthday. If you are asking me why, then your birthday must not be the week of Christmas– which sucks by the way!

If you live in America and celebrate Christmas you know that Decemeber is the most festive month of the year. People spend all year getting ready for the holidays, planning trips home, indulge in movies and exchanging gifts.   This month alone can ressurrect entire economies as people dig into their wallets and share tidings of great joy with their families, friends, neighbors and co-workers.

office christmas

However, if your birthday is anywhere around Christmas people are likely to make your Christmas gift a two for one deal.  Let me give you a $25.00 Amazon Gift card to you for your birthday with a card that says Happy Birthday and Merry Chirstmas. No longer seems fair does it?


If you declare your half birthday, friends will buy your present and not think twice about making it a dual purpose birthday gift.

The other thing about being born the week of Christmas is that you don’t get birthday parties.  Think about it. Most kids are getting out of school for winter break, so no in class celebration.  As you get older, your birthday falls around exams—everyone is studying and then heading home, again no birthday party.


As an adult I took upon myself to start throwing my own birthday parties because DANG IT- I’m happy to be born and I’m gonna celebrate me. That is until friends start making request that you have your celebration two weeks before the actual day of your birth….because you know they have plans to get out of town. Being born too close to Christmas is an inconvenience to your loved ones.  Throw a party in June and everyone is there, so why not celebrate your half birthday in June!  A birthday party that consist more than you and your best friend—one with at least 10 folks!

beyonce party

Wanna get away? I hope you don’t mind that traveling during your birthday is going to be expensive—its peak travel time. Gas is high, flights are high, accomodatios are going to be high. And even if you did splurge and spend the money, guess who’s not going to be there? Your friends—they can’t spend a weekend with you when there are last minute birthday gifts to be purchased! During the summer you can find great last minute travel deals—half birthday in Italy anyone?

It’s not that I hate the fact that I was born in Decemeber. Come on we get to celebrate with Jesus and Santa. If you plan right, you can hit up all the open bars at the office Christmas parties and turn up all by yourself. If you request your aunt to make your favorite cake she probably will because she is already in a baking mood. And for all the gift cards you will get for your Merry Birthday, you can wait till the day after Christmas to spend it and get more bang for your buck during the after Christmas sale!

grinch fab



#BlackLivesMatter #BlackGirlsRock

A few years ago, my sister asked me if I could explain to her white college roommate why publications such as Essence Magazine existed. In my head I immediately relived the nightmarish moment of trying to apply eye make up for “olive toned complexions” according to Seventeen Magazine.  The olive tone was the darkest skin complexion they had in the magazine, just like wavy/curly hair was the closest they would offer for tutorials on styling my kinky coils. Those styling tips don’t work!


Unless you are a person of color—you will never live these experiences.  So I tried to explain to my sister’s roommate what it was like living as an African American.

I explained to her that for many years, people who looked like me were not frequently seen in magazines or television.  Every image of a beautiful woman, was a white woman. Every image of a successful person was a white person.  The few times we saw ourselves was generally in some subservient role, because that is how the world saw us.

token black guy

So instead of simply accepting the lack of images of ourselves, trailblazers created a platform for people with skin like mine and hair like mine—and no this separation wasn’t created by black people. It was a response to the separation that already existed. So while some may feel that the proper response to BET would be WET—we have to remember that for so long, all of television was White Entertainment Television.  The psychological impact is the thing that makes award shows like “Black Girls Rock” so necessary.


The issue is not that white people were on screen but that people of color were absent on the screen. Again, if you are not a person of color, you will not experience the same reality so these truths may be easily overlooked at no fault of your own.

In the wake of a rising awareness of black men being killed by cops, #BlackLivesMatter started trending and some people’s panties gathered in a bunch.  These folks countered with #WhiteLivesMatter in protest to the worthy cause.  The truth is that no one was questioning if white lives matter.  Statistics have shown that white men are less likely to be shot by cops than black men—so while it is ridiculous to think that innocent people of any race are being killed, we have to ask ourselves why a group that is overwhelming less populous than white men is being killed at higher rates.  Maybe a hashtag and strong statement will remind those who are meant to serve and protect that in addition to other lives black lives matter too.

It hard for many millennials to imagine that in our not so distant past our country found itself trying to undo racist laws that had been set in place since the very inception of our country and the truth is—we are still trying to figure this ish out.

because im black

We try to keep the dark past of slavery hidden because that mess is jacked up, demoralizing and embarrassing for everyone involved. It reflects the school of thought that many of our forefathers possessed.  The laws and rules set in motion would impact generations to come—not just systematically but also economically and psychologically.  It would be easier and less painful if we could just do a collective wipe of our memories.


So here we are—one generation removed—having to deal with the aftermath of a legally racist society.  One way we do it is by affirming ourselves while reminding others of our worth. It is not intended to take away from the beauty of all of humanity but to remind others that black is part of humanity as well.  It’s not going to be perfect right away and no one has all the answers.  Our country’s wounds are too deep and too fresh to just place a band aid—now is the time to do the work, have the conversation so that one day we can truly have a post racial society.

no one born racist

For the Sake of Humanity


Lately, it seems like there has been a rise of violent crimes happening throughout the world.  Extremist terrorist groups are making their names known by the slaughter of innocent people.  People are killing for what they believe in while others are dying for what they don’t believe in.  It’s disgusting.

While I’ve been crying for humanity and devastated at the very thought of the gruesome experience theseinnocent victims have endured—others on Facebook have been trying their hand at social media marketing and sharing disturbing images from the ground.  My timeline has been sprinkled with images of bloodied decapitated cadavers.  Some people have left comments expressing their concerns—I simply unfollow them.  What i want to know is what makes these people think assualting our senses with horrible photographs will make us more compassionate for the cause? What makes them post without thinking that sharing this image is in bad taste? what is wrong with you

I personally feel that if you are a showing images of people who have been brutally murdered or maimed without permission of their family—you are inconsiderate.  You are exploiting these people only to push your own personal agenda—its not okay.  It wasn’t okay to do it with Saddam Hussein or underprivledged children.


You are neglecting the concerns of your friends who don’t care the see the images.  Yes a picture is worth a thousand words.  But have more faith in your friends.  We don’t need to see an image to have compassion.  Most people are horrified by the thought of such barbarity.  Even in a time when the world seems to have gone to savages— there is still some humanity.

P.S. If you are going to blame an entire religion for one sect’s actions—you better take a deep look into your own religion to see what crimes you are responsible.  Christ said “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.”


featured image of Girl by Volkan Olmez

Shopping on a Low Fat Budget

I should probably preface by saying —I’m not one of those people who see a $500 dress then find it marked down to $100.00 and get excited.  Somehow that just doesn’t sound like a deal to me.  When I do make a purchase of $100.00 or more on a single item, please know that I have thought long and hard about it, that was no impulse buy. Just ask my best friend, Erin Almond, I usually mull over my big ticket purchases with her for a full year before I actually commit. Like my Tory Burch flats or my Stella and Dot necklace! I have serious committment issues. Which is also why I am not a couponer—it takes too much work to get those kind of savings. I don’t want it that bad.

coupon queen

The truth of the matter is that I love to shop but I don’t like seeing money leave my bank account.  I have spent my adult life working for various non profit organizations (that don’t pay all that well) while being an independent filmmaker.  That means any extra money I have usually goes into my art. Struggles of the Film Fatale! But that doesn’t stop me from partaking in retail therapy.  Trust me, there are ways for us on skinny budgets to get quality items.  Can we say T.J. Maxx and  Nordstrom Rack?


Like seriously—I don’t understand why anyone would pay full price for anything with these two stores around. It’s like someone offering you calorie free fat free ice cream with all the flavor and you purposely choose the fatty calorific version.  You aren’t trying to live in the best of both worlds! Or you have a ridiculously high metabolism and you don’t have to give damns about what you eat—which is really nice and now I’m jealous.

i hate you

Nordstrom Rack’s extended size shoe collection is everything! Seriously ladies if you were a size 10 or higher—go right now to Nordstrom Rack, you will thank me!


I go to TJ Maxx like some people go to Target. I get my purses, kitchenware, linen and basically everything from T.J.Maxx. AND they have a layaway plan—the only place in the world I use it.  This helps me avoid impulse buys.  If I see an item that I want and didn’t budget for but I feel strongly that the world may end if I don’t buy it, then I put it on layaway (a $5.00 fee plus 10% of the total purchase) and allow myself to budget for it in the next 30 days. I call it controlled impuse shopping.


If you like to to shop you can’t afford to NOT check out these two places…my secret weapons. Where do you shop for great items. Leave a comment to let me know!


My life is boring. Like seriously, if you were to ask me what I did for fun I would not be able to answer and if I did answer, I would have to say that my Sunday naps are the highlight of my life. I like to read, I like to travel, I like to shop and I love to sleep.  Most of my everyday life consist of writing, editing or running the day to day operations for LackToast Entertainment.  Wow…I even managed to make that sound mundane.


Why do I share this with you? Maybe because I have this strong urge to hop on a plane and go explore the world. Get lost traveling in Brazil, hiking in Peru, sleeping on the beaches of the Mediterranean…doing anything but sitting in front of my computer and staring at youtube videos of cute kittens!


I want to LIVE!  If you are calling me dramatic right now, you may be justified.  I realize that there are more things in life to write about and to concern myself with.  However, I am too bored out of mind to even care! I need to shake things up.  I’m 31 and I have never had a one night stand…mostly because it’s out of my character, I’m scared of STD’s, I feel like sex is a bit more sacred than that and I would hate to randomly get preggers by a fly by night fling (yeah I know the chances of that happening are slim to none)…I digressed.  

Mean Girls_Sex ed

Basically Bible camp ruined any of my chances for walking out the free liberated life style. I need suggestions to add more excitement. Like choosing mango sorbet over vanilla ice cream, sprinkling Tajin on my fruit and veggies or maybe ordering a quesadilla instead of a salad at Chipotle.  Help me people, I am desperate. Any suggestions?