Tag: Love

Commitment Issues

The next time I talk to my friend and he tells me about how he and his picture perfect family (wife and two kids) spent the day together doing nice family things and I respond “how blessed you are” and then he replies “you got your siblings” I promise I will say some unkind words!

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I hate smug married/coupled up people’s condescending remarks to single people.  Okay, I know he probably wasn’t trying to be the smug douche that he came off as…in fact I can say that some of it had to do with me and the fact that I am pretty much over being single.  But c’mon people in relationships! Do I really need to give you a list of what NOT to say to people who are single?

I won’t give you a full list but just know that some of the things on the list include: 1) I remember when I was single, it was so much easier  or 2) you are so lucky, you don’t know how good you have it or 3) you’re not lonely, you have your mom/dad/brother or sister.

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Seriously? If you say these things, you deserve to be kicked in your throat.  But that is not why I am writing.  I am writing mostly because I had my own personal “aha” moment.  I realized that although I am over being single, I have not committed to the idea of dating.

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I am probably one of the few women who HATES dating.  The entire process is so phony to me.  Everyone sends their representative, says all the things that they think you want to hear, plays childish dating games and ultimately end up wasting precious time and emotions.  Listen, I am over 30. I don’t have time to play college games.  What are we doing? Can I get to know the real you? If you are only looking for sex, I am not the one.  If you are only looking to “kick it” go away.  These are the things I hate having to sift through.  I don’t understand why it takes so much work.

I am fine with committing to my career.  I am fine working long hours and sacrificing sleep for something I know will yield a benefit.  When it comes to dating, I am not willing to do the same thing for a maybe.  And I can admit that I’m tired of my heart being hurt so I am extra cautious.  I really just have a low tolerance for bullshit.  Is it possible to date without the crap?

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My biological clock is ticking and I currently am the living version of Katherine Heigl’s character in 27 dresses… how’s the online dating scene?

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by Categories: My rants, The Black SJPTags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Dear Smug Over Indulget Couples Who Only Love Their Significant Other On Valentine’s Day

Dear Smug Over Indulgent Couples

I hate you.  I know that hate is a strong word but that is truly how I feel. Throughout the year, us singles have to hear about your relationship problems, how much he or she gets on your nerves, how you wish you could be single and how “we are so lucky to be single.” But then comes 2/14, your facebook status changes to mush, your profile pic is of you coupled up from 10 years ago, and then all of sudden we singles realize that you were just taunting us.  All this time you were filling us with false hope to make us think that we had it good.

You feel bad for giving your single girlfriend an earful at least once a week so you try to make it sound better by giving proverbial advice like “It’s better to be single than to deal with his wack ass.” And the sad thing is that we want to believe it.  We want to believe it so much until days like VALENTINE’S DAY rolls around and all of a sudden everyone is booed up, getting flowers, chocolates and romantic dates, while the rest of us are stuck watching “He’s Just Not That Into You” eating Chinese Take Out and eating entire chocolate cakes by ourselves.  Then when express our disappointment and cynicism with the entire idea of love all of a sudden we are “hating”, when we should be “celebrating love”?!?!?!

Sons and daughters of female dogs!! DO you have no mercy? You sit up on your high horse with your significant others and you dare point fingers at us telling us that we are spiteful while all the time we are being pointed at and felt sorry for by you. You make a spectacle of our pain and then you tell us to be quiet and celebrate your love.  That same love that you were complaining about just a month ago? Oh that is low!

My bitterness is not that I am single. I’m okay (most of the time…usually during the day) with being single. It’s that all of sudden you start gloating and you don’t expect me to retaliate.  You make fun of something that I just may be a little self conscious about by not only putting your love on public display but by making a spectacle for everyone to watch and dare no one to say anything about.

Yes, I’m looking at you and your new facebook photo ex love of my life.  Yes, I’m looking at you homeboy who was just single three weeks ago. I’m looking at you lady who just got the flowers from her husband whom she just said she wanted to divorce.

So yes, I hate you. And I hate the fact that because I wrote this you are going to make statements like and that is why you are single…a point that is invalid in itself.

So in order not to look like a jerk and in order not to offend, Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone who is happily and unhappliy in love. May you continue to celebrate many many many more days in or out of love.  And to the rest of us who only get love text from our Dads, cherish those moments. At least we have our dads, right?

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