I Work Out

I’m currently in the process of trying to get right. Like everyone else, I came into the new year with goals to drop weight–but not for the sake of resolutions or simply being healthy but because I’m going to Greece in August!  I’m going to be on a yacht cruising around Greece and I need to look my own personal very best.  I mean there will be Facebook photos and Greek men! When I think Greece I think John Stamos, Greek gods, Kostos (the guy from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) and John Stamos again.

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So with that in mind, I have made it a personal mission to workout and eat right.  However there is one problem.  Sure, I miss all the unhealthy foods that I’m not supposed to eat but I can deal with that. It’s the working out part.

exercise

Whenever I go for a run, the whole time I ask myself why? What am I running for? Who does this for fun? So then my friends suggest that I try other exercises such as Zumba or Crossfit.  Now that I think about it–these are probably are NOT my friends. Who would encourage me to go to a class where I am reminded that I am one of the rhythm-less black girls (see post here) or do Crossfit? Nothing about Crossfit seems fun to me. Actually it seems dangerous. If I was looking for ways to die while losing weight-I’d just go find some FDA unapproved diet pills and take without consulting my doctor.

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The problem with working out is also that I am a sweaty girl.  That whole “girls don’t sweat we glow” saying is a lie! To the point it effects what time I workout. For example: If I have to be at work by 8, not only do I have to factor in the time to shower and get to work after my workout, I have to take in consideration how long it will take to cool off before getting in the shower.  If I don’t cool off before my shower, I will start back sweating after the shower.  Yeah that’s a 4:30AM wake up call. No thank you!

sweatin

Then there is the pain. I get it, no pain no gain. But when the idea of walking down the stairs is too painful, then we gotta reconsider.  Who are these folks who endorse “the burn”? That sounds like torture. It sounds like literally walking into the gates of hell and jumping into the lake of fire.  After a “great” workout why do my arms feel like spaghetti and my legs have no feelings?

dying

But even with all of my griping and complaining and my eternal hate for working out- I will still do it. Because John Stamos.

Confessions

Today I have a confession to make.  As much as I try to eat healthy, rid bread from my diet, limit alcohol and deny my body of the very thing it lives for…chocolate, there is one thing in my faux healthy life style that I have yet gotten used to.  I know this is somewhat a blow to all of my friends who enjoy trailmix, homemade cliff bars, substituting dates for fudge, and enjoy eating dried [insert random fruit/veggie here] chips.  I hope that my confession does not cause you to look at me as any less of a person but if so, I’m sure you will oneday find it in your heart to forgive me.

I absolutely cannot stand eating Lara Bars! Lara Bars, the holy grail of pre-packaged snacks.  The snack that is oh so good for you because you can pronounce all the items on the packaging.  Yes, I get it…its better for me…. But I have to be honest here, if high fructose corn syrup and riboflavin no. 5 would make my “Cherry Cobbler” Fruit and Nut bar taste more like a Cherry Cobbler, I am all for it.  The brown rice syrup just isn’t doing the job. Two bites in and I am over the holy crusade I set out on…I start to wonder if processed foods are all that bad and I even start to crave a nutri-grain bar.

What I do know is that I will continue to half heartedly eat my Lara Bar with full disdain and contempt because ultimately its better for me. I’m vain enough to want to see the weight loss results and to be a better me.  I’m convinced that this bar is going to help do the trick because anything that taste this bad HAS to be good for you.