kids

Admittedly I’m not sure where I stand with having children of my own. Ideally if I have kids I need to be married—because children are too much work to have on your own and I am all about the delegation of duties. Whenever I see a baby my ovaries do a little backflip but then they cry and I am immediately put off by the idea.

Then I hang with my friends’ kids, they are all pretty cool and I love them to death. But then I invite my friend to go hang out and they are all like “nahhh, I have to take so in so to dance class then soccer practice and after that cook dinner.” And I’m all like “oh—I’m pretty sure our idea of fun are two different things”. Somehow that statement always follows a lecture about how I’m not getting any younger and how I need to start thinking about settling down. My response is usually, “Oh me, I don’t want kids” and that spins into a whole different discussion.

I need for Pope Francis to tell me where in the Bible it says that not wanting to have kids is selfish. Or maybe not—I don’t want to feel convicted. If having kids is a prerequisite to womanhood then me, Oprah, Barbie and a whole lot of women are in trouble.

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August 17, 2015August 12, 2015 by Twilla Amin Categories: My rants, The Black SJPTags: children, Feminism, kids, Life, mothers, Pope Francis, rant, Retrospect for Life, video blog, vlog, weekly updates, women, wtf Leave a comment

Teenagers. WTF?

I know at one point in time I was a teenager. I also understand that teenagers sometimes makes foolish decisions. But lately I’m convinced that teenagers are getting even more ridiculous in their life decisions and social media is not helping.

A group of teens together are bound to breed foolery. It is this mob mentality that are getting teens to hop on the #KylieJennerChallenge. Get a shot glass, insert lips, suck out all the air and voila! Full lips. It sounds like a sensible/ affordable way to get plump lips. But the problems with teens, and some adults is that they don’t think through things.

My first thought would have been—how would I get my lips out. Will it hurt or bruise. Obviously, I am a adverse to pain. But these adolescents are about that life. There was also the Fire Challenge. Folks pouring alcohol on themselves then setting themselves on fire, running around the house and back to the tub to douse the fire. Um, have you ever heard of 3rd degree burns? You are straight putting your life in danger. On the same level of “I don’t really want to live this life” is the salt and ice challenge-without giving details just know that the risk involve 3rd degree burns as well.

When I heard of the condom challenge, my faith in teenage humanity was restored. I was thinking, “That’s great kids are encouraging each other to have safe sex.” Nope. I was wrong. These kids were snorting condoms and pulling out of their mouth without thinking there is a possiblity of choking and dying! How embarrasing would it be to die because you choked on a condom? I don’t understand this sort of collective stupidity.

Whatever happened to the less insane challenges–I dare you to eat a hot pepper or eat several saltine crackers without drinking water? Those challenges are dumb but less dangerous. It scares me to think that one day I may have a kid and that kid will become a teenager and that teen may end up participating in these ill planned, life threatening games. Parenting tops my list of scary things—right there below a sexless marriage.

April 22, 2015April 22, 2015 by Twilla Amin Categories: My rantsTags: collective ignorance, dumbest stuff ever, kids, kylie jenner challenge, Life, rant, teenagers, wtf Leave a comment

The Thirst: The Hunger Games Edition

Lionsgate is considering creating a “Hunger Games” theme park. A theme park? Seriously?

Should we also consider opening a “Lord of the Flies” theme park or what about the Attic of Anne Frank Park or a Hotel Rwanda Resort? “Oh, that sounds like a GREAT idea” says NOBODY! Why? Because it is scary! Ain’t nobody about celebrating cruelty of mankind.

I am a fan of “The Hunger Games”. I loved the books, I loved the first movie, I loved Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss, I just loved it!

For those of you who aren’t familiar with “The Hunger Games”, it is a dystopian (opposite of utopian) novel that takes place in post apocalyptic Panem. The Hunger Games is an annual event in which 2 kids from every district are randomly selected to battle each other to death. It’s the ancient Rome version of the Olympics. The last kid standing is the winner (and the only kid alive.) Pretty depressing stuff.

Not depressing like Scandal spoilers depressing but depressing like kids dying depressing. Not even like kids dying but kids being murdered, straight up assassinated depressing.

So imagine asking your kids “Hey you wanna go to Disney, Six Flags, Lego Land or to the Hunger Games?” I already know the young version of myself would not be about the Hunger Games life.

I’d be all about the House of Mouse, at least I know he ain’t out tryna kill me. Like where is the fun in fleeing for your life?

Please don’t give me but “The Hunger Games” is fictional crap because it still doesn’t make it less scary. Those kids had to be skilled with swords, bows and arrows, fight for scraps of food only to die at the end…what part of that says Theme Park to you?

Am I overlooking the obvious here? Is there a market for this kind of stuff? Perhaps this theme park would be used a some sort of alternative punishment that parents and schools could use to discipline their children? I’m really trying to understand this. Lionsgate may just be trying to see how many ridiculous ways they can squeeze money out of this franchise and that is just plain thirsty!

I can keep going on these bad movie inspired theme parks. Just in time for the holidays we have Schindler’s Christmas List!

No? Too far? *Kanye Shrug*

Tagged with: Hunger Games, Theme Parks, Corporate Greed, hollywood, dystopia, bad idea

November 8, 2013January 8, 2014 by Twilla Amin Categories: EntertainmentTags: bad ideas, death wish, hunger games, kids, theme parks, wtf Leave a comment