5 Things: The Confederate Flag Edition

I celebrate the fact that people (including lawmakers) are calling for the Confederate flag to come down over government buildings.  This really feels like something that should have happened at the end of the Civil War in 1865. The war was lost, there was no more need for the confederate flag. Let. It. Go.

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Growing up in the south, this flag was plastered on everything–tee shirts, bumper stickers, lockers, hats, in your neighbor’s yard.  All it took for me was one history class when the teacher explained the origins of the flag for me to question all of my classmates proudly showcasing their confederate paraphernalia as proud daughters and sons of Dixie.  While they were proudly re-imagining their heritage of their ancestors sipping mint julep on the plantation porch, I think of my ancestors doing the back-breaking free labor to plant and harvest the sugar for someone else’s gain.

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Every time I see the flag I think of the KKK–because it is a flag they also revere.  Have you ever seen the Klan march? I have–in my state capital of Raleigh and once before that in my small home town. I didn’t know if I should laugh at the fact that these folks are still rocking those ridiculous looking head pieces or cry at the fact there are those that hate me for no other reason than the color of my skin.

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The flag of the fallen Confederacy is tied to so many negative aspects of history that they outweigh any positive note (being non-biased) that may exist. There are so many other things I’d prefer witnessing over seeing another Confederate flag. The following are my top five.

1. Stomp my baby toe on a burning hot steel plated concrete boulder. Yes I’d rather endure this painful experience 100 times than the flag to fly over another government building.

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2. Hearing someone brush their teeth. If you know me, you know this is the most excruciating sound in the world to me. To raise the stakes–that person could be brushing their teeth with a brand new Brillo pad while chewing on rocks and scratching their nails on the chalk board. That would definitely give me a nervous tick and eye twitch. Yet, I would subject myself to this torture than to see that banner yet wave.

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3. Listen to early Justin Bieber on repeat. Please see number 2.

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4. Translate the Aeneid. This thing is like a million pages long!  Did this in high school Latin class but I still can’t speak Latin. It was painful but willing to do it again–without looking up translations online. It may take me a year to do but it’s so much more preferable over the Confederate flag.

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5. Cramps. I’m talking full on PMS ugly gut punching puke inducing cramps. No Midol, no heat pad, no tea. Yup. I disdain the flag that much.

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