Being single can be great at other times it sucks. Here are my six reasons why I hate being single! My number one reason might surprise you!
Category: The Black SJP
Cuff and Stuff
You already know what it is…that time of the year when everyone starts to get booed up. Yes, it is officially cuffing season! Meanwhile I’m like why do that when you don’t have to shave your legs?
Over the past 10 years there has been a wave of women tossing away chemicals and rocking their own natural texture hair.That means lots of folks came to a rude awakening when they realized black girls hair was not actually silk and straight—its actually curly, coily and in my instance puffy. Some folks had a conniption—old black folks who didn’t understand why anyone would step out the house looking unkempt, employers who thought it unprofessional to walk around making political statement in office and the general population who equated straight hair with beauty because lets face it—our beauty standards are based on the presence of Eurocentric features—straight hair, fair skin, small nose.
As people grow more used to seeing variation of textured hair, there are a few things you may need to know. Consider this weekly update as your 5 things on what not to say, do or assume to/about a woman with natural hair.
I wanna know your thoughts! What else should folks know about the natural hair movement?
Admittedly I’m not sure where I stand with having children of my own. Ideally if I have kids I need to be married—because children are too much work to have on your own and I am all about the delegation of duties. Whenever I see a baby my ovaries do a little backflip but then they cry and I am immediately put off by the idea.
Then I hang with my friends’ kids, they are all pretty cool and I love them to death. But then I invite my friend to go hang out and they are all like “nahhh, I have to take so in so to dance class then soccer practice and after that cook dinner.” And I’m all like “oh—I’m pretty sure our idea of fun are two different things”. Somehow that statement always follows a lecture about how I’m not getting any younger and how I need to start thinking about settling down. My response is usually, “Oh me, I don’t want kids” and that spins into a whole different discussion.
I need for Pope Francis to tell me where in the Bible it says that not wanting to have kids is selfish. Or maybe not—I don’t want to feel convicted. If having kids is a prerequisite to womanhood then me, Oprah, Barbie and a whole lot of women are in trouble.
Check out my newest weekly update and let me know your thoughts!
The next time I talk to my friend and he tells me about how he and his picture perfect family (wife and two kids) spent the day together doing nice family things and I respond “how blessed you are” and then he replies “you got your siblings” I promise I will say some unkind words!
I hate smug married/coupled up people’s condescending remarks to single people. Okay, I know he probably wasn’t trying to be the smug douche that he came off as…in fact I can say that some of it had to do with me and the fact that I am pretty much over being single. But c’mon people in relationships! Do I really need to give you a list of what NOT to say to people who are single?
I won’t give you a full list but just know that some of the things on the list include: 1) I remember when I was single, it was so much easier or 2) you are so lucky, you don’t know how good you have it or 3) you’re not lonely, you have your mom/dad/brother or sister.
Seriously? If you say these things, you deserve to be kicked in your throat. But that is not why I am writing. I am writing mostly because I had my own personal “aha” moment. I realized that although I am over being single, I have not committed to the idea of dating.
I am probably one of the few women who HATES dating. The entire process is so phony to me. Everyone sends their representative, says all the things that they think you want to hear, plays childish dating games and ultimately end up wasting precious time and emotions. Listen, I am over 30. I don’t have time to play college games. What are we doing? Can I get to know the real you? If you are only looking for sex, I am not the one. If you are only looking to “kick it” go away. These are the things I hate having to sift through. I don’t understand why it takes so much work.
I am fine with committing to my career. I am fine working long hours and sacrificing sleep for something I know will yield a benefit. When it comes to dating, I am not willing to do the same thing for a maybe. And I can admit that I’m tired of my heart being hurt so I am extra cautious. I really just have a low tolerance for bullshit. Is it possible to date without the crap?
My biological clock is ticking and I currently am the living version of Katherine Heigl’s character in 27 dresses… how’s the online dating scene?