Today I was minding my own business riding Los Angeles public transportation (absolutely the worst) when an old man (in his 70’s) started ogling me. He began by offering a simple compliment, something like “Girl you so fine I can’t stop staring at you.” I said thank you and continued texting because that’s generally how I ignore strangers. But then he continues, this time more in the vein of “Girl the things I would do to you if I was a few years younger.” At this point, I’m a little disgusted but he’s old so I smile and continue with my texting.
At this point he’s moaning, licking his lips like a petrified LL Cool J and thrusting his hips and boldly declares “I just want to kiss you all over and not stop.”
Okay sir, you are just being nasty. Before I have time to react, he gets up to get off the bus and plants a wet hairy kiss on my cheek—and states “Sorry baby that was an accident. But thanks for making my day.” I felt like a cheap date, more like a cheap hooker.
This moment left me completely baffled. Had it been a younger guy, I definitely would have slapped him. He wouldn’t have even gotten to that point. I would have read him his rights about his compliments were not actually compliments but mostly along the lines of sexual harassment. Then I asked myself: Why is that senior citizens get away with stuff that their juniors would probably get cussed out for.
Like the grandmother that insults the newborn baby or tells you how much weight you’ve gained. You getting to be a fat thing aren’t you.” Is it just me or is the freedom of speech only applicable to those 65 and over? I look forward to going through whatever rites of passage that allows me to say whatever I want to whomever. I’ll be a 100 year old serial creeper, feeling on younger men on the low and dare them to say anything. It’ll be just my luck they start revoking the geriatric privilege card rights, like social security.