How to Make Pink Eye Sexy

Last night, I sat in urgent care with the largest darkest tinted shades  on that I could find.  I had a serious headache and any type of light felt like flood lights from heaven piercing my cornea. The brightness of my text screen caused my retinas to screech! I was simply miserable.  So I grabbed my shades (at 9pm) and headed to urgent care.

The door opens and a very kind yet overly sarcastic doctor (a dose of my own medicine) opens the door and murmurs, “oh we have a dramatic one.”  She examines me and diagnoses me with conjunctivitis, writes me a prescription and a doctors note and sends me on my way.

Although at first, I didn’t know how to take her sideways statement of being dramatic, I later realized that she was on to something.  For all of us struggling with the Bob Costas Eye Syndrome, we just have to take ownership of our jacked up, runny, sometimes crusty eye and make it sexy.  For the next week, I vow to rock my shades outdoors and indoors, morning, noon and night.  When I return to work fashionably on time, I will do so wearing my brightly rimmed Dolce and Gabannas and dare anyone to say anything.

And if we could turn back the hands of time, I would encourage our friend Bob to do the same.  Forget “professional journalism”.  You are the face of Olympic news updates! We should have encouraged Bob to rock his dark Rayban aviators and dare someone to question him.  You are Bob Freaking Costas!  Don’t be another causality of Sochi, take that and turn it into something powerful!

Wait, I forgot, I cannot wear contacts for another week and I don’t have prescription shades… So long for being sexy with conjunctivas!